the buttcrack of dawn
		the origin of these jokes lies with some movie i watched, but can't recall the name of. anyway, someone in the movie said soemthing like "man, now i've got to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn," which i thought was kind of funny. also, and unfortunatly, it made me think "what if there was a girl named dawn who happened to be very over-weight; just how would her large buttcrack play into her life?" well, the following are some situations she might encounter if she moved to new york city. you know, someone told me that the staute of liberty thought that her ass was getting kind of big, but then when dawn moved to town, she felt better. dawn's ass is so big that the city of brooklyn had to build another brigde just to keep the edges of her asscheeks from sticking out the sides and dipping into the river. dawn's ass is so big that one day when ellis island was closed, the mayor of new york asked dawn to go swimming just so immigrants would have a place to land. dawn's ass is so big that the sign coming into the city reads: "now entering new york city - population 3,567,238 and one really huge ass." dawn's ass is so big that when david letterman did a top ten list for new city nicknames to replace "the big apple," the number one answer was "the big ass." dawn's ass is so big that tourists take pictures of her butt crack saying "i didn't know the grand caynon came this far east." dawn's ass is so big that when she farts, chicago voluntarily surrenders the name "the windy city." dawn's ass is so big that if she wants to visit long island, she's got to call ahead so they can move everyone else to the other side of the island so it doesn't tip over when she steps on it. [ home | back to fun things to do ] [ my view on things | stupid stories | kafka tribute | links galore ]
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